


The Vortex School

by Dorkangel



Series: The School AU [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (1963), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: AU, Gen, school au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-25
Updated: 2014-04-25
Packaged: 2018-01-20 19:03:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1522127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dorkangel/pseuds/Dorkangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based around the same theme as 'The Tolkien Academy'. All the companions (that I could remember!) are in a classroom, and the Tenth Doctor is stuck trying to teach them a lesson. Unfortunately, one of the students appears to be a Dalek...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Vortex School

The Vortex Academy

Doctor Ten entered the class, one eyebrow raised experimentally. He didn't appreciate much that all his brothers had left HIM to teach the first lesson. "You're the third oldest," they had said. "You'll be the best at this kind of thing; you've been a teacher twice, what with 1913 and that thing with those students. Eleven just gives them all stupid clothes and Twelve seems to scare some of the younger kids. "What about Four?" he had moaned, and Nine shook his head. "Can't do that. He just gives them sweets and then they steal his scarf and use it for myriad mischief." He laughed at the memory. "Fantastic."

And now he had to try and teach them. He sighed and walked in. "Alright class, settle down. Quiet, please- Hey! Who shot that? Jenny, pass the Nerf Gun here. You can have it back at the end of the lesson. And no kissing! Will you all leave each other alone! That goes for all of you: Susan and David, Ian and Barbara, Ben and Polly, other Jenny and Vastra, Amy and Rory, Rose and Mickey! All of you, go and sit on opposite sides of the room. I'm watching you, do as I say! Now, is everyone here?"  
"Ace and Strax aren't here, sir."  
"Hmm? Why's that, Liz?"  
"They got expelled."  
"Oh yes, the incident with the Nitro 9 and the grenades. Hardly their fault if Doctor Seven is going to teach you about combustion. Is everyone ELSE here?"  
"Rose Tyler isn't."  
"Why not?"  
"She's transferred to another school."  
"Ah yes, thank you, Mickey."  
"Donna Noble isn't here either."  
"Is she in the library?"  
"No, River Song's in the library. Donna bumped her head, and she's got amnesia, so Rory and Martha are taking turns looking after her. She's in the hospital."  
"Does anywhere know where the hospital is?"  
"Oh, I do!"  
"Thanks Tegan, where is it?"  
"On the moon."  
"Oh yeah, there was a field trip there last week. Did anyone go?"  
"Me and Jamie and Polly did."  
"Oh right."  
"Yeah, but those awful Cybermen were there."  
"YOU WILL BE DELETED!"  
"Ah, I think you're in the wrong classroom. This is Companions, you clearly want Villains."  
"I APOLOGISE!"  
"So, everyone apart from Ace, Strax, River, Donna and Martha is here?"  
"Oh no, Alan Leftbridge-Stewart and Harry are at Cadets."  
"And what are they doing there, Jo?"  
"...not much."  
"They didn't do a very good job with my people-"  
"Vastra, this is not the time for a Human/Silurian argument. For the last time, is that everyone?"  
"...actually Rory Williams and Jack Harkness are dead. But I'm sure they'll be alright tomorrow."  
"Ok Adric. That's everyone, I think. Now, who was looking after the class pet?"  
"Ooh, I was!"  
"No, we were."  
"Sarah Jane, both Romanas, you were all looking after K9. It was a trick question!"  
"Ha, and Mickey is basically K9, so-"  
"Rose, be nice to Mic- Hey, Rose! When did you get back?"  
"Oh, I just keep jumping between schools."  
"Well, you shouldn't. Go back, now."  
"*sigh* If you say so."  
"Rose Tyler, I-"  
"What?"  
"None of your business, Mickey. So, the three of you who had K9, what did you do with him? Sarah Jane, you start."  
"Well, first me and Mickey and Rose blew up a school. And then me and some kids from the Spin-off classroom, Maria and Luke and Clyde, made a black hole."  
"I hope nothing bad happened to him because of the black hole?"  
"No, I don't really know what happened. It was quite vague."  
"Alright. Romana(s), what did you do?"  
"Well, first we-"  
"Excuse me, Doctor Ten. I found these two hanging around outside your classroom. They were kissing."  
"Ah, thank you, Doctor Two. Craig, Sophie! I had no idea you were in this class."  
"Yeah, we appeared for more than one episode, so..."  
"Go and sit next to Reinette and Sally. They only just got in too. Now, we're studying Timelines at the moment, aren't we?"  
"Yes."  
"Yep."  
"Sounds about right."  
"Ok, so... Physics, physics, physics, physics, physiiiiiiics. I hope you guys are getting this down. How far did we get up to?"  
"Ooh, I know!"  
"Ah, Sally. Where were we?"  
"You said something about balls of Wibbly-wimey, Timey-wobbly-"  
"No! That's not right at all! I remember now, from a non-linear, non-subjective point of view- River Song, explain this to Jamie McCrimmon would you, he looks a bit lost, and you're suspiciously good at this subject - Time is basically a big ball of Wibbly-wobbly, Timey-wimey...stuff."  
"Excuse me?"  
"Oh, hello."  
"Is this the companions classroom? I'm new."  
"Yes, you must be Clara. You can sit next to Madam Vastra."  
"Ok."  
"Actually, do you know anything about Timelines, Cla-"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Uh...yes?"  
"Is this the companions classroom? I'm new."  
"Are... Are you Clara as well?"  
"Yes, I'm Oswin Oswald. From the Starship Alaska."  
"Right... I'm not sure I quite understand this. Go and sit next to Amy, please."  
"Ok."  
"I think you two probably know quite a bit about timelines, so-"  
"Excuse me?"  
"Another one?!"  
"I'm Clara Oswald. Is this-"  
"Yes this is the companions classroom. And you're new."  
"Sorry I'm late, I was babysitting."  
"Alright, you can sit next to the other Clara- ARRGH! A Dalek!"  
"I AM HUMAN."  
"Is that Starship Clara?"  
"YES. I AM CLARA."  
"Oh dear Rassilon-"  
"Sorry I'm late sir, I was studying History and DT."  
"Rory Williams. Says on the register you died."  
"I did."  
"Then what were you studying in history and DT?"  
"Romans and plastic. Plastic Romans. It's complicated. Hey, a Dalek!"  
"I AM HUMAN, NINA."  
"Why is that Dalek calling me Nina?"  
"This is getting more and more confusing. Jo, could you please fetch Doctor Eight and Doctor War. They're good with Daleks."  
"Right-o, Doctor."  
"Now, back to our lesson. Personal Timelines can vary quite a bit. For example, you can be living in 2005 and die in 1887. Or you can be living in 1746 and die in 2020 without living the three hundred yeas between."  
"Uh, Doctor..."  
"Jo Grant. You forgot what you were doing, didn't you?"  
"Yep."  
"Peri, go and help her."  
"Sure thing, come on Jo."  
"They'll be back. Peri'll probably faint. So, personal timelines-"  
"Sweetie?"  
"River Song! I-I, I mean, Melody Pond. How many times have I told you about calling me Sweetie? And why are you not in the library?"  
"I don't know, I got bored."  
"Yeah, she's always running out of classes. She never stays in detention."  
"Yeah, mum, but Doctor Eleven is the one who gets me out."  
"Melody, don't call Amy 'mum'."  
"But she is my mum!"  
"See class, River Song is a perfect example of a messed-up Timeline-"  
"Hey!"  
"Excuse me Doctor..."  
"Jo...?"  
"Peri fainted."  
"See, class, what did I tell you? Where is she?"  
"The... I forgot..."  
"This is why we don't bring up the old companions much."  
"Hey! I'm no' as useless as those wee lassies-"  
"No, but your accent is completely unrealistic, Jamie. Take mine for example; you'd never know I was Scottish."  
"Fair enough."  
"Uh, hello?"  
"Jack Harkness, what are you doing here? I thought you and Rory were going to be dead all day?"  
"Nah, I'm alive. Hey, is that a Dalek?"  
"I AM OSWIN OSWALD."  
"Strange name for a Dalek..."  
"Let's not start that again. Jack, could you please go and fetch Doctor Eight and Doctor War to deal with the aforementioned Dalek. And if you see Peri along the way, please wake her up."  
"Whatever you say, Doc."  
"If we could finally get back to the lesson, Time is constantly changing. Just because you think you know what is going to happen, doesn't mean it will, apart from fixed points in time. Listen to me: you must never, NEVER NEVERNEVERNEVER try to change fixed points in time."  
"Why not?"  
"Susan, just DON'T."  
"Aren't you supposed to explain things in more detail?"  
"Susan! I'm very disappointed in you! I've never explained anything in detail in my life!"  
"Doctor Ten?"  
"Ah, Doctor War, thank you. Where's Eight?"  
"Helping Peri. Did you know she fainted? Again."  
"Yeah."  
"So, where's the Dalek? Wow, I've never seen never seen a Dalek sitting at a desk before. How does that even work?"  
"I-"

And then suddenly Doctor Eleven and the new teacher, Doctor Twelve rushed in. "S'ok, Doc!" yelled Eleven. "We got her!"  
"I AM HUMAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU- EEK!"  
And then they ran. "Never heard a Dalek make a noise like that..."  
"Ian, don't whisper in class. I'm sure Doctor Eleven knew what he was doing. Now, about Timelines, just before we finish the lesson and- River, don't say a word. - you must never come into contact with a past version of yourself or it is possible that the universe will end. Hey, Clara, what are you d


End file.
